I use the tag "catie does college" if you want to keep up with 90% of my personal stuff, and if anyone asks, I'll look in the "all-hail-catherinethegreat" tag
Took the man to the airport today, and we sat for two hours because his flight was delayed. We basically just held hands, not a lot of talking, and he said he didn’t feel well, like his stomach was overly full and he’d felt that way for a few days. I tried to tell him that it was anxiety but he was very adamant that it was not. His pulse was exceptionally high and his breathing was clear but erratic. He thought he’d been sleeping a lot because he was sad. Your body will always betray you to someone who can read it. I’m exceptionally good at picking up his body language already, and I can do pulses and stuff really quickly.
I passed off a few tears as me needing to sneeze. We scrolled through my tumblr. He was amused by it.
We people watched. He saw an androgynous person and asked what I thought their gender was. I said gender is an endless sliding scale that doesn’t deserve to be more important than the person in question and their needs and desires about their gender. He hazarded a guess at male. I stopped him. We sat in silence for a few minutes.
Finally I said, “you know I’m gender fluid, right?”
He shook his head no. “What does that mean?”
"I’m not really female or male or anything. I’m just…me. I’m Catie. That’s why I don’t compare myself to ‘other women.’ I’m not a woman." He nodded and seemed to think.
I asked, “does that bother you?” My voice was shaking because I really wanted this conversation not to happen right before he left.
"No. I just don’t understand it."
I then lapse into silence. “Well it means I might express myself differently. I might want to cut my hair or get different piercings or cover my breasts up. I’ve done it before, but I might do it more. That’s part of why I’m so comfortable with your clothing on.”
He frowned. “But I love the way your hair falls. Can we leave the hair and help you do something else to hide it?” I smiled.
"I would look cute with a mohawk."
"No one looks cute with a mohawk, Catie."
So he had to board his plane shortly after this interaction. He seemed a little gruff and said, “come on babe give me a hug.” He pulled me in and almost immediately pulled me away again gently by the shoulders to kiss me. It was a very short sequence so I was surprised. He gave me money for parking and tolls. He’s like that.
He walked one way. I walked the other. I kinda looked back, and he looked at me. I waved a little and he did too. Surprisingly I was not crying at this point, but I’m sure I looked awful.
I got out to my car, and I had a text message from him timestamped for right before I left his sight (like within the minute) that said, “I miss you already…love you lots.”
And that’s the bull shit I got left with.
tumblr mutual on their blog: i have a crush on someone
me: i bet it's me
tumblr mutual on their blog: they're six feet tall and they speak fluent portuguese and have their own private jet
me: wow. i can't believe you have a crush on me